thought life

I write to you today from the context of Philippians 4, one of my favorite chapters in the New Testament. In verse eight and following, the passage states,

“Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things. The things which you learned and received and heard and saw in me, these do, and the God of peace will be with you.


The mind is extremely powerful. What we think of controls many areas of our lives. We find ourselves so easily manipulated by the standards of the world that we drift away from the Biblical viewpoint of the world. It starts with a decision that we make. We choose to engage in certain conversations that may be talking negatively about someone or complaining about a circumstance; we choose to watch certain television shows, etc. Charles Stanley says that when we do these things we are “unconsciously adopting the world’s thinking.”

I’ve been reading from Dietrich Bonhoeffer on the Christian community, and here is what he had to say on dreaming:

‘God hates dreaming, for it makes people proud and demanding. Those who have dreamed up an image of community demand its fulfillment by God, by others and by themselves. They come into the fellowship of Christians as demanders and set up their own law. They act as if it is they who have the task of creating the Christian community, as if their dream image is supposed to obligate other people. Anything that does not go according to their will is called failure. When their dream comes to nothing, they see the community falling apart.”

Instead of demanding more, we ought to receive more gratefully. It is very easy to choose to dwell on the negative aspects of life; for example, what we don’t have. True joy does not come from always wanting more or wishing for more.

I came to be thinking upon this whole idea of thought life during these past few months of living far away from all of you, all that I had grown accustomed to. When I first moved here, I had many thoughts in my mind, ideas, dreams that I had laid before myself. ‘The Lord has called me here for a reason,’ I said over and over again, and I had many ideas as to what that could be. ‘He’s going to use me in some big and mighty way.’ I would think. I dreamed of being involved heavily in a church, having many new relationships, and always being busy. These were my plans and dreams, but God was realistically, nowhere in this picture. I became depressed because my dreams weren’t working out the way I wanted them too.

What I began to realize is that God has to work inwardly before He can work outwardly. Our hearts and inner minds need to be fixed upon Him, and to have the dirt of selfish ambition washed away. And this is not an instantaneous thing! Our society runs on impatience! We build faster and newer computers each year to satisfy our cravings and “I want it now!” disease. Of course this is an obvious example, and I am sure there are better ones than that, but you get the point.

Another good point that Bonhoeffer made was that being a Christian is not a matter of a moment. We don’t just become a Christian and that’s it! We are becoming a Christian every day of our lives. It takes time and diligence! 2 Timothy 2:15 states that we are to

“Be diligent to present yourself approved to God, a worker who does not need to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.” We need to be studying the word of God every day! There will be difficult days where we won’t feel like studying or working hard, but those are the times when we need to try all the harder!

I have recently joined a gym and it’s amazing to me how much it relates to the spiritual life. I now understand why Paul used so many athletic examples in his letters. 1 Corinthians 9: 24ff says thus,

“Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. Therefore I do not run like a man running aimlessly; I do not fight like a man beating the air. No, I beat my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize.”

No victory can be achieved without hard work. Our spiritual wellbeing depends upon how well we train. Do you work at it once a week, or just when you are in the mood? Do you push yourself despite the desire to just take a rest? We may endure trials in life, but they are placed there to make us stronger. And the stronger we become, the harder the trials become, but we are given the strength to bear them (1 Corinthians 10:13).

Coming back to the idea of thought life, I once again state that our thoughts influence the things we do. The more I dwell on negativity, the more depressed I am, and the more I compare myself to others. Dwelling on circumstances we are in never brings us peace. Paul wrote the letter of Philippians while he was in prison. Had he focused on that fact, he could never have written about the peace of God. When I think about that, I find myself sincerely humbled. No matter what hardship each of us endures, we are blessed by God. Each hardship is designed for our benefit. The more I think upon God’s truth, the more joy I find myself having. I no longer think upon what I don’t have, what I can’t do, and where I am not. I think upon what I am becoming, the mark of the Christian life, the importance of other people, and the beauty that surrounds me!

We do not need to be enslaved by our thoughts. Satan’s desire is nothing more than to see us alienated from God. He will inflict mental strongholds upon us to keep us as far away from God as possible. But we are to have the mind of Christ, and by having Him in our hearts, we have the power to turn away from the devil’s schemes. Proverbs 23: 7, “as a man thinks in his heart, so is he.” The more we think about other things besides God; gossip, comparisons, material wealth, work, etc., the more we become like those things. That is why we need to daily study the word, pray, fellowship with one another, to keep on track with how we need to be. Just as I need to be physically exercising my body to make it stronger, so my spiritual life needs to be exercised. That also includes eating right, taking my vitamins, and drinking lots of water. We cannot hope to become more spiritual unless we put good things into our lives as well. Our mold must be Christ, not the world. We are to be conformed into His image. The thoughts of our minds must be centered on Him, not on the world and it’s negativity.

This is briefly, what I have been learning since my move to the great North. I miss all of you greatly up here, and while I wish I could be there to fellowship with you and see all the exciting things that are to take place, I know that for a time, this is the place that I have been called to, and I am blessed to be where I am. Indeed, the Lord places us where He does, and while it may seem like nothing is going on at the time, He is working in and through you to make you more Christ like. As always, I appreciate any meditations you may have on this subject and many more.

Faithfully Yours,

Corinne McFee

Steadfast in Prayer

As I was reading through Romans 9 tonight, I began to pay more attention to each word in detail. Usually, when I read through passages in scripture, I don’t spend much time thinking about each word.

Loving without hypocrisy, (v.9) what could that mean? Do we love expecting something in return? Do we expect others to love us more when we ourselves are not being loving? Do we compare ourselves to how others are behaving and say “I’m so much better than they are?” I know I have done these things.

Clinging to what is good. Just what is good? It is the things that the Lord loves; the fruit of the Spirit. It is grace, mercy, faith, hope, love, patience, and more. It is the things that are not of the world, but of the Spirit. Phillipians 4:8 states this: “Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” These are the things we cling to.

Giving preference to one another. This means we think of others before ourselves and we long to see them happy. I know that of myself I am so naturally selfish–things need to be done on my time and in the way I want to or I grow impatient! But love is not self-seeking (Corinthians 13).

Continuing steadfastly in prayer. This is one particular area I greatly struggle with. I have had times where I have poured out my heart to the Lord and cried to Him, and have felt His presence, but it is never been something I earnestly do day after day. I am one of those people who start out fervent in something, and as time goes on, I sort of go back to old habits. Unfortunately, this goes right into my prayer life.

Awhile ago, I had this thought and it dealt with relationships. If you think about the relationship you have with your family, your friends, or significant other, how much time do you devote to these people? How is that time spent? Do you talk the whole time you are with them? (I know some people do) Do you spend time listening to them? If you didn’t spend time with them or listen to them, would you have a relationship?

Now apply this to your relationship with God. Do you spend enough time with him? Do you have a five minute relationship with God? Is that really a relationship? I am such a guilty culprit of this. I often wonder, “HOW can I be better in prayer? I am a horrible PRAY-ER.” The question to this is much the same as the question you would ask: “How can I have a better relationship with my boyfriend or fiance?” The answer: Doing it. You have to work at it. You will NEVER, I repeat, NEVER be perfect in prayer. There is no perfect prayer guideline really. We earnestly strive every day to be better at our relationships, but we will never be perfect; we can’t be.

Men and women of prayer in the Bible:

Abraham- When He prayed for God’s hand to be removed from Sodom

Moses-when He prayed that God would have mercy on Israel

David-when He called on the Lord to save him from affliction

Hanna-When she prayed that God would give her a child.

Ezra-Prayed, while acknolwedging the sins of Israel.

Daniel-prayed, inspite of the law!

Mary-praised the Lord for blessing her to be the mother of Christ!

Jesus-praying for His disciples!

Paul-praying for the churches!

There are many more examples, but these are people who lived and breathed the Lord. Perfect? Far, FAR from it! But they longed after God! How I desire to want the same!

Hymns: the outcry of man’s heart to the praise of God’s goodness

Hymns seem to be turning around in popularity these days. You see folks like Chris Tomlin and David Crowder rewriting them and revamping their style to match the demands of the populace (e.g., Amazing Grace-My Chains are Gone).

What is a hymn, really?

I’ve been reading this hymn book that was given to my father more than 30 years ago, and which happened to have been published in 1881, and it states the following about hymns:

“Three things are needed for a hymn book: a basis of truth and sound doctrine; something, at least, of the spirit of poetry, though not poetry itself, which is objectionable, as merely the spirit and imagination of man; and thirdly, the most difficult to find of all, that experimental acquaintance with truth in the affections which enables a person to make his hymn (if led of God to compose one) the vehicle, in sustained thought and language, of practical grace and truth which sets the soul in communion with Christ, and rises even to the Father, and yet this in such sort that it is not mere individual experience, which, for assembly worship, is out of place. In a word, the father’s love, and Christ developed in the soul’s affections, rising in praise back again to its source.”

It also states that hymns ought to be simple and full of Christ, as well as the Father’s love. It is not about us, or our wants.

My Psalm unto the Lord

Oh Lord how my heart has wandered
And strayed from your Word!
I have sought the prizes of the world
To fulfill me
And my heart has grown jealous and conceited,
Longing to satisfy itself.
My thoughts have been selfishly driven and
I’ve sought to compete with others, believing
I deserve more then I have been given.
Lord cast these evil thoughts from my heart
And my mind
That I may desire to hide your Word in my heart
And not turn from it!
Help me my God, my savior to share your love
With others
And to not have a haughty spirit within me.
May I dwell in the company of those who love You.
I long to seek after You m Savior
Quiet my heart to hear your commands
May I seek to have time to choose You!

Discussions of Insight

Today (1/20/10), I spent most of the day at coffee shops, talking and fellowshipping. I had intended to do some devotionals before meeting Robyn from my ISP England team, but then ended up talking to friends Alex and Carissa for over an hour about various insights I have been learning in my life.

I didn’t even start talking with Robyn until about 2:30 and we talked for about two more hours and then prayed together. After that I hung out with Chrissi and Karina for another hour and then Chrissi for a few more hours. So, it has been a fellowshipping kind of day and I got to share so many lessons with them all.

Fear of the Unknown

I fear what is unknown, for what is known to me already is of a dull comfort to me. I know what to expect each day, whether I dread it or love it, but yet there is an empty quality in that. For what draws closer to me than my own sin, that dreaded comfort that I am so often familiar with? Yet it is the unknown which inspires  fear, passion, hope, and trust. Trusting in the unknown is so great a risk, yet can be so well worth taking. But how do I trust what I fear? How do I walk in the unknown set before me? It is a terrible thing, great and uncertain. It is vague and seemingly untouchable while we still do not know it.

A Hopeful Path to Transformation

I decided to set aside today to pray and study the Word. I was surprised that upon opening my Bible, the first thing I came to was Ecclesiastes 1. My first impulse was to turn to another book, say one of Paul’s letters, for something a little more positive, a little more encouraging. But then I began to see that perhaps this was just what I needed to read and study today. And then it just so happened that I was reading the chapter on Study in Richard Foster’s “Celebration of Discipline” and I thought, well isn’t that ironic? Or maybe it wasn’t…

The first realization that I came to was this: a man (or a woman) is so often recognized and praised by the work he (or she) produces. How much money does he make? How many kids do they have? How creative are they? How does what they can do benefit our society? The list can go on and on. And I realized that I had been caught up in this tangled web myself. My unemployment over the last 7 months caused me to feel worthless and unproductive. I grew frustrated with myself and with God, questioning and berating Him over and over again. And I began to forsake devotional readings with Him, and my prayers were short and superficial. 

What am I trying to say here? The point is that I grew consumed with material things and I did not allow myself to meditate on the things of the spirit! When I was in school and had a job, I made the excuse that I was too busy with so many things to truly have time with God. When I was unemployed, I merely distracted my mind with fun activities so as to not even be near the guilt of not turning to Him. 

But when my mind finally realized that I once again, truly needed God, I began to talk, telling Him my situation, asking over and over again for the same thing, and I missed one crucial element: listening. It says in Ecclesiastes 5: 1-2, to “Guard your steps when you go to the house of God. Go near to listen rather than to offer the sacrifice of fools… do not be quick with your moth, do not be hasty in your heart to utter anything before God. God is in heaven and you are on the earth, so let your words be few.” The purpose of prayer is not to get stuff from God, or to fulfill a requirement, it is to change us inwardly. Richard Foster says that when we pray, we are to listen for guidance. 

So often when we pray or read the word, we do it quickly just to get it out of the way. You ever felt like that? You say a quick prayer before a meal or just rush through the reading of a chapter in the Bible, without truly grasping or meditating on it. Sometimes it is better to just read a few verses at a time and re-read to truly grasp the author intent, and to pray on them throughout the day. It is not the amount that we should be striving for, but rather the quality of even the shortest passage or verse. 

We also need to be careful that when we study, we don’t assume we are going to go about the right way the first time. It is not an easy task, and it will take discipline that we may not have put to practice before or very well. This is the stage I am in right now. I have come to the realization that I do need to study more, and pray more, but I need to be careful that I do not assume that each time I will “get something out of it.” There will be dry times in our reading, but we need to not give up, for something greater is in store. Richard Foster says that the solution to this is four steps: repetition. concentration, comprehension, and reflection. We continually do the process of study (repetition), we concentrate on what we are reading (this may require that we narrow our focus on one particular passage or verse), we seek to understand (comprehend) what it means, and we reflect on it in our lives. We need to do this with an open mind and heart, not going into reading with the idea that we already know what it means. Each time we read it, it can have a new impact on us depending on where we are at in our lives. 

So how can I draw this back to the beginning? We need to learn to not become so drawn up with worldly successes and praise. For Jesus said about the Pharisees in Matthew 6:5, “when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by men. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full.” But we are seeking our rewards in heaven, not on earth, and the praise of the Father, not of men. God will not recognize us by all the great things we will accomplished, but He will ask us “What did you do with my Son, Jesus Christ?” That is where are hearts need to be turned towards. 

Of course, we need jobs  so we can pay the bills and get by and all that, but when we become so consumed by things of that nature, it (like anything), can become an idol, something that takes the place of God, which should never be done. Jobs come secondary, not primary to Christ. For Paul said in Philippians 1:21,   “To Live is Christ, to die is gain.” That is our calling, first and foremost. 

And now I ask anybody who is reading this to be a prayer partner with me. To encourage me and to encourage each other (as I hope to do for you) to truly meditate on the Word and to seek to pray with an attitude of submission and a heart that longs to listen. This we must do, as fellow brothers and sisters in the faith. I praise the Lord for you and pray that we can walk together on this journey to follow Christ more fully.

Letters from a Grieving Heart

Letter # 1

Today hasn’t been the easiest day; yet it hasn’t been the hardest. I know that death is just one of those conundrums that is a part of the human condition. None of us are exempt from its clutches. But yet there is this part of me that wants to still hold on; to live in denial and to believe that it did not happen. Oh yes, I know it did, but I’ve tried hard to believe otherwise. And suddenly, I begin to feel utter loneliness as though I were the only one in the world dealing with this pain. Utter selfishness. I am unready to say goodbye; unwilling to admit that I will never seem him again; uncertain of what the future will hold.
I haven’t even read my Bible since this whole affair, and I have barely said anything to God except “why” and “still I will trust you.” There is nothing more to be said of it. I am thankful that so many people are praying for me, and I hope that more will.
It is hard feeling peace, but at the same time feeling heaviness. How can the two even fit together? It seems nigh impossible. I go from utter breakdown to feeling okay again. Will I ever feel normal again? Yes, in time. Will I still grieve? From time to time. But I know that some how or other, I will make it through. As will those whose pain runs deeper than my own.

A Whole Life

They say I have my whole life to live the dreams of my youth, but what defines a ‘whole life?’ and long must if be for you to tell that it truly has been a whole life?Without each individual part contributing to it, there wouldn’t be a whole life.  Say you wake up each day and think, well I have the whole rest of my life to follow God, but then what? Days, weeks, months, and years go by, and what was once your “whole life” is nothing more than a broken memory full of regret. Shall we wait until we are old before we decide to the live the life we were called to?

1 Timothy 4:12 says “Do not let anyone look down on you because you are young.” If you have an idea that could change the world, and you are 17, 18, 21 years old, whatever it is, don’t hold back. Our passion is to be with Christ because he had compassion on us. Stand up for what is right, and don’t let go of your dreams. Just look at Joan of Arc.

Although, I don’t recommend burning at the stake.

Inspired…

Today at lunch, Dr. Gayne Anacker came and sat down at the table with Jonathan, Daniel and I. I had never met him before and had only heard his name mentioned once or twice. he was so kind and friendly. his words really encouraged me because I had been feeling rather depressed that I don’t seem to be able to contribute orally to philosophical and theological discussions. He told me that he’s sure that I contribute in my own way when its the right time.
I didn’t know that he was the founder of the Christian Community College in Redlands! I think its pretty amazing how someone who seems to have a lot of prestige can still be humble and welcoming to others.

March 27, 2008